http://www.cracked.com/photoshop_104_if ... nse-humor/

Number 13.

Fucking

Well #13 is indeed awesome, #4 and #12 are the best ones.

Harken, if I haven't told you yet, I fucking love you.

...No homo.

yeah I wanted to embed it but I don't know how...?

he answered my question!

OKAY
BREAKING MY OWN LITTLE STATEMENT HERE, BUT


why do people think that religion and science are complete opposites? It seems to me like science has bugger all to do with religion, that that's more of history's territory, but...

Aside from taking what Darwin said as scientific fact, I don't see where the two are opposites. I'm a very hard-evidence kind of guy m'self, but I don't think you can FULLY AND COMPLETELY PROVE what we didn't witness, and that no one logged. Meaning that, while I don't think you can prove Darwin right, I also don't think you can do the same for any religion or derivative or pretty much any theory on how shit went down and people were made. I just so happen to believe in the one that makes sense to me. Zombie Jew who says he's all-powerful and his pa made us > nothing existing then suddenly all the nothing gathering to one point then the nothing exploded and germs and rocks were born and here we are(both of those were taken from motivational posters, I'm not flaming :< ) imo, but my carbon's the same as atheist's carbon, and most other religion's carbon, so...yeah not really opposites in my eyes.

Oh, and, calling it now, once I get sleep I'm gonna read this and cry. Bet you a dollar in pennies.

Personally, I'd go as far as to say that the Zombie Jew route is less factually accurate than the Monkey Fuckers route, but only just.

I believe that a dude named Jesus existed, and he told some killer stories, but as far as the rest of that stuff? Highly unlikely that any dude could cure leprosy/blindness/gimpness with his bare hands.

As for the Monkey Fuckers route, the idea that first there was nothing and then bam, everything just seems a touch.... well, impossible. But considering theres evidence today that evolution does happen and has happened in the last 100 years (see peppered moths), so I agree with that too.

Personally, I don't care either way. Spend too long trying to look into the past, you miss the future. Give me a religion that says "Hey, live each day as it comes and just be awesome to each other, and fuck bowing down to some big beady freak in the sky who is his own son or an eight armed elephant or some other mad shit" and I'll.........

Oh, hi there, Taoism.

Evolution has absolutely nothing to do with the dawn of the universe, blokey. It's simply a theory of how one species can change over time, nothing else. It doesn't say anything about how life or the universe started. There are several theories about those things, but there's still a lot of uncertainty.


There's no religion that can be considered a theory. They're all hypothesises. A theory is something with a solid factual and/or empirical foundation. Darwin's theory is a theory, on the other hand. You pretty much can't prove any theory right though, not even gravity.

I guess the reason is that whenever "science" comes up with something new, it often goes against previous established beliefs. Therefore, religious groups are reluctant to accept this new information/theory/whatever since it contradicts their belief. On the other hand, science has been unable to find any religious statements plausible. So they do kinda seem like polar opposites. Religion sometimes actively rejects plausible science, but science is always open to new stuff. So the only one opposing anyone else is religion, really. Once something's been disproven or cannot be found plausible, science simply moves on.

Zombie Jews and Monkey Fuckers?

Did I miss something?

I've always said that Christianity and evolution aren't mutually exclusive. I'm perfectly comfortable with the idea that God designed life to adapt to particular environments.

I looked this up in the dictionary and the definition was: pussy's way out.

Funny, I looked your face up in the dictionary and the definition was: proof that God has a sense of humor.

YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT IT'S TRUE.

Uh, I'm pretty sure that your God (see, I even capitalised it out of courtesy) is infallible, which means his designs are infallible as well. That design evolving would deviate from his probable intentions, meaning the design is not after all infallible, and by extension, neither would your God.

And before you try it, the argument that the creatures were originally designed by an infallible creator, and later deviated out of necessity doesn't hold water either. By that logic, your God created protozoa, and nothing else.

And Darwin's theory of evolution is a theory, not because of its solid empirical foundations, but because of this cycle.

Hypothesis
Testing
Submission
Peer review
Peer testing
Acceptance
Theory

THIS MODEL CONSTANTLY LOOPS. People are always trying to find some kind of flaw with Darwin's work, meaning that they're constantly peer testing. Their tests are based on a hypothesis regarding the theory. Science constantly evolves, because of this model. Not because people want it to change, but because their findings make our understanding change. Science is affected by any result that is found, not just one that either goes against or with the current understanding. Religion, however, is never affected by any empirical findings, no matter how concrete the results are.

Let's take the biggy. The Big Bang, that is.
Here's one major theory that will fuck over so many religions if it's proved. We have measurements of galaxies moving away from each other, we have cosmic wind, so much evidence that something massive went down at some point.
Then we think "Explosion. Something cataclysmic that's leaving all this shit around the Universe". Then we need a state of non-matter, and some kind of catalyst that causes the explosion. Something like the Higgs Boson. Never found before, and if the idiots have their way, will never be found, yet it underpins every single last piece of scientific understanding about the origins of the Universe. If it's found in the LHC, or in any other experiment, then what? Our theory of the Big Bang becomes hard fact, and the religions start to doubt themselves? If their gods didn't create the universe, then what else have they been lied to about?

Tell you what'll happen if the Big Bang is proven.

Fuck all. That's what'll happen.

And why?

Religion pays not a single bit of attention to anything that goes against its indoctrinated beliefs.

And if the Higgs Boson can't be replicated? What'll happen to science?

People will keep looking for something that underpins the theory. We know that the Big Bang is the most plausible explanation for the origins of the universe, and unless someone comes along with something better, then lets keep with this one. Ok, the Higgs Boson may not be the one thing that makes everything fit, so lets look for something else.

Changes regardless of the outcome. That's what makes science different to religion, and that's why if someone gets me into a church, I'll never sing, pray, or even open my mouth when in there.