So the European beta for the highly anticipated LittleBigPlanet went live last week, and I was lucky enough to pick up a key or seven in order to check the game out. I already had high expectations, as this was one of the 3 games I actually purchased a PS3 for, the others being FFXIII and God Of War III.

But nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to experience.

I'll start off with the short version. This game is quite possibly the most amazing game I have ever played in my 25+ years of gaming. Period.

If I left it there, this would be a very short editorial, so lets begin the long version.

"Planet Earth, or as the rest of the Omniverse calls it, the 'Orb Of Dreams'...."

Goddamn, Stephen Fry has one of the most soothing voices in the history of voiceovers. The story surrounds a world created by all of the Earth's population's dreams and random thoughts, all gathered up into one Little Big Planet, where the impossible and unbelievable is an everyday occurrance. The intro to the game sees Sackboy running across a long, slightly hilly platform, with the faces of the game's creators popping up in the scenery as you run along. Once you hit the end, you are transported to your Pod, which is pretty much the LBP equivalent of Delfino Plaza in Super Mario Sunshine - basically a place to view the many different worlds that you can explore and, to some extent, abuse.

There's the standard tutorials, you know, run, jump, grab, bitch-slap (I kid you not), and several tutorials that show you how to build your own levels. At first, it seems a bit daunting, but within minutes you can create virtually ANY scenario you like, and then play it in realtime to see how it works! When it says that the possibilities are endless, they're wrong. They're just as endless as your imagination will take you.

While single player is amazing, multiplayer is truly where its at, and unlike other PS3 multiplayer games that only hint and suggest at a multiplayer community, Little Big Planet pretty much screams the words "Community" and "Play together" into your face.

Some levels have secrets that can only be unlocked with 2 or more players. Some obstacles require teamwork to complete. But mainly, you get to bitch-slap your friends. Imagine the "Pikachu slapping Pikachu" scene in the first Pokemon movie, but set to the music of Benny Hill. It's THAT funny.

But if you want some quiet, constructive time, then the create-a-world mode is your best friend. As I said before, your imagination is the only boundary, and while it might appear a very daunting task to make your own levels, its actually very easy indeed. Within hours of the beta going live, there were hundreds of levels uploaded to the LBP servers, and the best thing about this is that ANYONE can jump into your levels and play them, and they can also rate them on how good they are, as well as providing feedback! But be careful, anything that is deemed offensive can be reported, resulting in the level being deleted from the server.

Some of the levels I played involved the famed "Shadow Of The Colossus" level, a landscape that looked like it came straight from the Wii game "De Blob", all white with splatters of bright colours, and one that Pie introduced me to, a skateboard that flies past several hundred soundboards that, once you pass them, play a single note each. If you go fast enough across the level, the notes that play actually form the first half of the song "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns N Roses!

As I said, the only boundary is your own imagination.

But when you're done with all this awesomeness, you can relax in your pod and decorate it with the stickers that you collect throughout each level. Mine consists of a few flowers on the floor and a neon green sign that reads "KEBABS" above the main window. Pie then came over to my Pod and decorated it with bright blue underpants before slapping me about and then sodding off to his own Pod. Normally I'd be upset at this, but there is NOTHING about Little Big Planet that can upset you, other than the fact it isn't out yet.

So is Little Big Planet everything "they" said it would be? In a word, yes. In several words, holy goddamn poop on a stick yes goddamn oh my God yes in all that is holy this is awesome.

This is the system seller that the PS3 has been waiting for. Forget your Motorstorms. Forget your Metal Gear Solids. And while you're at it, forget your Final Fantasies and your Gods Of War. This is THE defining PS3 game, and if this game doesn't shift millions in its first few days, then there is something wrong with this world, there really is.

PS. I made my Sackboy do the Greased Lightning dance from the movie Grease, and Pieman slapped me.

My Impressions:
Does anybody know how to get semen stains out of a TV?
I've tried everything...

I've advised our policy admin department to implement a fast-track scheme for players of LBP who have "spilled their yoghurt" over their TVs, so that they get replacements ultra-fast.

I want this game so damn much. So sad I have to wait until xmas.

What what WHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT?

i have no monies.

Sell your body. As Blokey once said to me "Take your body down to the dock and sell your cornhole for a tenner a pop"...

Those were the days....

My workdays have fallen into a routine.

I wake up after dreaming excitedly of LBP (my bed now has numerous stains on it) and I go to work. I sit at work thinking about what I can do in LBP and planning levels in my head. Then I go home and turn my PS3 on so I can play more LBP.

People say I have an addiction. They don't understand, they clearly haven't played LBP otherwise they'd feel the same way.

<3

There's a slight problem now...

I just tried to play the LBP beta and it says the content has expired! I can't wait ALL THAT TIME for the release date.

it was supposed to end on the 11th
they extended it for a day
feel lucky.

You can't give me paradise and then take it away! It's torture.

You know...

you're seriously making me want to frikkin' run to the store right now and steal a Goddamn PS3.

I want this game SO bad... ;_;

Seriously man, its a total goddamn blast. You NEED a PS3, just for this.

And possibly MGS4.

OR NOT?!??! lolololololol