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 Post subject: Fixin Shit IMO
PostPosted: Thu May 16, 2013 7:01 pm 
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Inspired by the Wind Waker topic, I decided to post on how in my opinion Nintendo(and a couple of companies) can fix themselves.

Mario: I love new Mario titles but the last one I enjoyed was 3D land. The "New" Series is fucking too linear and the Godawful music needs to die. Make one like World/4 where theres close to 100 stages and 6 ways to get to Bowser.

Zelda: I get a manboner for Zelda games. Though I haven't enjoyed them as much as the older ones since Majoras Mask(though SS had the best story I've seen in awhile). Zelda should be focusing more on dungeons and sidequests instead of just copy/paste OoT. And when LttP2 gets released, Not only will I be the first in line to get it but anyone that gets in my way will have to deal with a razor sharp dildo up their ass for the rest of their life.

Metroid: For the love of everything that is holy, make a new Metroid that is like 2, Super or Fusion. And put Nightmare in it as a big bad guy. Nightmare should be the new Ridley. Maybe the villans this time can be more like cosmic horrors?

Star Fox: Make another that's like 64. Assault was a step in the right direction but then you fucked up royally and went full retard with Command.

Square: First off, quit with the random, nonsensical names to sequels. It's just stupid. Second, your IP's are more than FF and KH. Nintendo shouldn't be releasing your other IP's. Also, Chrono 3.

Capcom: I've said what needs to be said in the past. Though I'll add that AA5 shouldn't be full price if it's digital only.

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 Post subject: Re: Fixin Shit IMO
PostPosted: Thu May 16, 2013 7:10 pm 
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So basically "go back to making awesome games" right?

Also, Squeenix shouldn't be developing Mario games (the basketball one and another one).

Also also, you even get close to the front of the line for LTTP2, you'll see me armed with Zack and Elena and some high-sugar, high-caffeine drinks.

And you don't want that...

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 Post subject: Re: Fixin Shit IMO
PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2013 9:40 pm 
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A new fucking F-Zero game.

That is all I want really.

I will buy a Wii U right now if I knew there will be one with online play. But no, Nintendo wants to be homos and not release it. I love the Gamecube game. I realized that my save file was gone after popping it into the Wii the other day, but I honestly didn't care. I started to play the game and was having a fucking blast.

Fuck Miyamoto for hating GX, crazeh fooz can go eat a dick.

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 Post subject: Re: Fixin Shit IMO
PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2013 3:57 am 
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SugaFree wrote:
A new fucking F-Zero game.

That is all I want really.

I will buy a Wii U right now if I knew there will be one with online play. But no, Nintendo wants to be homos and not release it. I love the Gamecube game. I realized that my save file was gone after popping it into the Wii the other day, but I honestly didn't care. I started to play the game and was having a fucking blast.

Fuck Miyamoto for hating GX, crazeh fooz can go eat a dick.


Miyamoto hates everything that isn't his idea.

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 Post subject: Re: Fixin Shit IMO
PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2013 6:44 am 
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So...

Fuck Nintendo.

Right? ;)

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 Post subject: Re: Fixin Shit IMO
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2013 4:18 am 
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Blokeymon wrote:
So...

Fuck Nintendo.

Right? ;)


Nah, mine was more "Fuck Miyamoto."

But I guess by proxy...

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 Post subject: Re: Fixin Shit IMO
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2013 4:45 pm 
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all three console manufacturers need to merge in a deal which grants nintendo no say in future hardware decisions

then they could just focus on making great games and stop trying to come up with weird ways to control games and feel like they have to force them into every title. for better or more often worse

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 Post subject: Re: Fixin Shit IMO
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2013 5:24 pm 
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Sypher_04 wrote:
all three console manufacturers need to merge in a deal which grants nintendo no say in future hardware decisions

then they could just focus on making great games and stop trying to come up with weird ways to control games and feel like they have to force them into every title. for better or more often worse

I like that idea.

Nintendo - keep your fucking hands off the hardware, but get your tentacles into your IPs and pump some fresh shit out.

Sony - use your extensive tech skills to make the hardware, but stay the fuck out of online.

Microsoft - get that fucking network sorted, bitches be itchin' to play some games, yo.

Behold... the GodBox.

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 Post subject: Re: Fixin Shit IMO
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2013 6:08 pm 
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Blokeymon wrote:
Sypher_04 wrote:
all three console manufacturers need to merge in a deal which grants nintendo no say in future hardware decisions

then they could just focus on making great games and stop trying to come up with weird ways to control games and feel like they have to force them into every title. for better or more often worse

I like that idea.

Nintendo - keep your fucking hands off the hardware, but get your tentacles into your IPs and pump some fresh shit out.

Sony - use your extensive tech skills to make the hardware, but stay the fuck out of online.

Microsoft - get that fucking network sorted, bitches be itchin' to play some games, yo.

Behold... the GodBox.

The godbox? I already have a PC. ;)

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 Post subject: Re: Fixin Shit IMO
PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2013 6:54 pm 
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PC gaming is shit. Notice that lack of the word The.

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 Post subject: Re: Fixin Shit IMO
PostPosted: Thu May 23, 2013 3:18 am 
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Blokeymon wrote:
Sypher_04 wrote:
all three console manufacturers need to merge in a deal which grants nintendo no say in future hardware decisions

then they could just focus on making great games and stop trying to come up with weird ways to control games and feel like they have to force them into every title. for better or more often worse

I like that idea.

Nintendo - keep your fucking hands off the hardware, but get your tentacles into your IPs and pump some fresh shit out.

Sony - use your extensive tech skills to make the hardware, but stay the fuck out of online.

Microsoft - get that fucking network sorted, bitches be itchin' to play some games, yo.

Behold... the GodBox.


And then SEGA rises from the ashes like a Phoenix, re-establishing all of their studios from the Dreamcast era.

They unveil the SEGA Apocalypse (or Omega Drive for you folks elsewhere).

It launches with 25 in-house titles including Phantasy Star Online 3, Phantasy Star V (a real single player RPG experience), a new Jet Set Radio, an amazing 2D Sonic title, Shenmue 1 & 2 updated with modern graphics and voice acting, Shenmue 3, Yakuza 6, Crazy Taxi 4, Ecco The Dolphin: This Dolphin Would Punch Master Chief in the Dick, an HD 2D Alex Kidd, Samba de Amigo 2: Samba Harder, House of the Dead 6: Raisin' da roof!, a dramatic new story-driven Columns game, Space Harrier, Fantasy Zone, NiGHTS: Your Dreams Are Fucked, Ristar 2, and Tails Adventure 2: My First Adventure Was Better Than Your First 2 Combined, Sonic.

I buy it all on launch day. Play them all forever, and die a happy man.

No third party titles are ever released, the system is a commercial failure, but GODDAMN is it the greatest thing to ever happen in the history of forever.

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 Post subject: Re: Fixin Shit IMO
PostPosted: Thu May 23, 2013 9:54 am 
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HGW XX/7 wrote:
Blokeymon wrote:
Sypher_04 wrote:
all three console manufacturers need to merge in a deal which grants nintendo no say in future hardware decisions

then they could just focus on making great games and stop trying to come up with weird ways to control games and feel like they have to force them into every title. for better or more often worse

I like that idea.

Nintendo - keep your fucking hands off the hardware, but get your tentacles into your IPs and pump some fresh shit out.

Sony - use your extensive tech skills to make the hardware, but stay the fuck out of online.

Microsoft - get that fucking network sorted, bitches be itchin' to play some games, yo.

Behold... the GodBox.


And then SEGA rises from the ashes like a Phoenix, re-establishing all of their studios from the Dreamcast era.

They unveil the SEGA Apocalypse (or Omega Drive for you folks elsewhere).

It launches with 25 in-house titles including Phantasy Star Online 3, Phantasy Star V (a real single player RPG experience), a new Jet Set Radio, an amazing 2D Sonic title, Shenmue 1 & 2 updated with modern graphics and voice acting, Shenmue 3, Yakuza 6, Crazy Taxi 4, Ecco The Dolphin: This Dolphin Would Punch Master Chief in the Dick, an HD 2D Alex Kidd, Samba de Amigo 2: Samba Harder, House of the Dead 6: Raisin' da roof!, a dramatic new story-driven Columns game, Space Harrier, Fantasy Zone, NiGHTS: Your Dreams Are Fucked, Ristar 2, and Tails Adventure 2: My First Adventure Was Better Than Your First 2 Combined, Sonic.

I buy it all on launch day. Play them all forever, and die a happy man.

No third party titles are ever released, the system is a commercial failure, but GODDAMN is it the greatest thing to ever happen in the history of forever.


And then you woke up.

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 Post subject: Re: Fixin Shit IMO
PostPosted: Thu May 23, 2013 10:06 am 
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Raiku wrote:
HGW XX/7 wrote:
Blokeymon wrote:
I like that idea.

Nintendo - keep your fucking hands off the hardware, but get your tentacles into your IPs and pump some fresh shit out.

Sony - use your extensive tech skills to make the hardware, but stay the fuck out of online.

Microsoft - get that fucking network sorted, bitches be itchin' to play some games, yo.

Behold... the GodBox.


And then SEGA rises from the ashes like a Phoenix, re-establishing all of their studios from the Dreamcast era.

They unveil the SEGA Apocalypse (or Omega Drive for you folks elsewhere).

It launches with 25 in-house titles including Phantasy Star Online 3, Phantasy Star V (a real single player RPG experience), a new Jet Set Radio, an amazing 2D Sonic title, Shenmue 1 & 2 updated with modern graphics and voice acting, Shenmue 3, Yakuza 6, Crazy Taxi 4, Ecco The Dolphin: This Dolphin Would Punch Master Chief in the Dick, an HD 2D Alex Kidd, Samba de Amigo 2: Samba Harder, House of the Dead 6: Raisin' da roof!, a dramatic new story-driven Columns game, Space Harrier, Fantasy Zone, NiGHTS: Your Dreams Are Fucked, Ristar 2, and Tails Adventure 2: My First Adventure Was Better Than Your First 2 Combined, Sonic.

I buy it all on launch day. Play them all forever, and die a happy man.

No third party titles are ever released, the system is a commercial failure, but GODDAMN is it the greatest thing to ever happen in the history of forever.


And then you woke up.


It's just as probably as the Godbox. Pointing out the absurd by being absurd.

Except for my absurdity was perfection.

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 Post subject: Re: Fixin Shit IMO
PostPosted: Thu May 23, 2013 11:49 am 
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HGW XX/7 wrote:
Blokeymon wrote:
Sypher_04 wrote:
all three console manufacturers need to merge in a deal which grants nintendo no say in future hardware decisions

then they could just focus on making great games and stop trying to come up with weird ways to control games and feel like they have to force them into every title. for better or more often worse

I like that idea.

Nintendo - keep your fucking hands off the hardware, but get your tentacles into your IPs and pump some fresh shit out.

Sony - use your extensive tech skills to make the hardware, but stay the fuck out of online.

Microsoft - get that fucking network sorted, bitches be itchin' to play some games, yo.

Behold... the GodBox.


And then SEGA rises from the ashes like a Phoenix, re-establishing all of their studios from the Dreamcast era.

They unveil the SEGA Apocalypse (or Omega Drive for you folks elsewhere).

It launches with 25 in-house titles including Phantasy Star Online 3, Phantasy Star V (a real single player RPG experience), a new Jet Set Radio, an amazing 2D Sonic title, Shenmue 1 & 2 updated with modern graphics and voice acting, Shenmue 3, Yakuza 6, Crazy Taxi 4, Ecco The Dolphin: This Dolphin Would Punch Master Chief in the Dick, an HD 2D Alex Kidd, Samba de Amigo 2: Samba Harder, House of the Dead 6: Raisin' da roof!, a dramatic new story-driven Columns game, Space Harrier, Fantasy Zone, NiGHTS: Your Dreams Are Fucked, Ristar 2, and Tails Adventure 2: My First Adventure Was Better Than Your First 2 Combined, Sonic.

I buy it all on launch day. Play them all forever, and die a happy man.

No third party titles are ever released, the system is a commercial failure, but GODDAMN is it the greatest thing to ever happen in the history of forever.


I'd cut my bollocks off to buy that. Holy shit.

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