Smitty3000 wrote:
Se[BBB]e wrote:
What happens 4th of July?
We declared independence from Great Britain on July 4th 1776. People usually have picnics, watch fireworks etc.
That's not the way I hear it.
Apparently, a long time ago, George Washington, got drunk during a visit to England, and slept with the Queen, whom he never called her back. A few months following their renedevous, the Queen realized she was with child and tried desperately to contact George. After many a failed attempt, she began to get pissy, partially from the frustration, and partially because her pregnancy was cause
slight mood swings.
Meanwhile, back in the soon to be US of A, George was partying on his yacht and getting his mack on with the local hussys, life was good. Until, he recieved word his men had intercepted a transmission referring to his forthcoming bastard son. His head was full of questions. Was he ready to be a father? Should he have called her back? And where did he put his pants? He knew one thing, he could not go through with it.
Sick and tired of attempting to contact George, the Queen did the only thing she could do. She sent messengers to the new world to seek out George and convince him to return to her. Several days passed, and the English U-boats touched down on the east coast of California. They had a long road, and many hemroids ahead of them, but they knew what had to be done. But, first sleep.
They awoke the next morning and hit the road. Somewhere around midday however they were ambushed by the US militia, who by direct order of George Washington were ordered to kill the messengers, and their small but well equipped foot-ninjas, for he feared that he would be expected to pay child support, or worse spend time with the kid.
Eventually, word got back to England of her messengers dispatching. This set off a fullscale war between the countries. The result would be many lives lost on both sides, with the British eventually stepping aside, and conceding defeat. However, now about 8 months pregnant an now extremely pissy the Queen made a royal decree stating officially that the US was kicked out of the Commonwealth.
So, every July 4th, American's celebrate their drunken, horny founding father, who just didn't know when the fuck to keep his god damn trousers on.
Cheers,
....
