For those of you who have come here from P-N, you may have remembered a short-lived weekly feature called Pokémon Picks. For those who didn't, the feature reviewed Pokémon and suggested how to use them. Since that feature, we've had three more games to shake up the competitive scene (and P-N kinda ceased to exist, but nobody cares about that). Now, on UUDDLRLRBA, I bring you B+Up, a new guide to competitive Pokémon.



Pokémon Pick: Hippowdon



I've become enamored with Sandstorm teams over the last year or so. The ability to slowly wear down an unprepared opponent is something I can really get behind. Sandstream is the perfect ability to lead off a team with, given to two Pokémon: Tyranitar and Hippowdon. As I feel Tyranitar's a bit overused right now, I'm going to go with the underdog (or underhippo in this case).

Type: Mono-ground isn't uncommon, nor is it particularly impressive. While immunity to Electric can be handy on occasions, and STAB on Earthquake is definitely useful, being weak to all-too-common Water and Ice attacks is a problem. Grass is less common, but a Grass Knot can still ruin your day. Fortunately, being monotype prevents those Water and Grass weakness from being a lot worse than they possibly could be.

Stats: Hippowdon's stats lean toward it being a physical tank that can take punishment and then dish it back out again. Its base defense is a respectable 118, putting it slightly above Bronzong and Magnezone. HP-wise, it matches Garchomp and slightly edges out a few legendaries. On the offensive, it has slightly more attack than perennial favorites Snorlax and Lucario. Unfortunately, these stats had to come from somewhere. Hippowdon is slow and cumbersome, being outsped by almost any Pokemon you can care to mention. Its special defense doesn't look too hot, either.

Moves: On the offense, Hippowdon gets the always-respectable Earthquake and Stone Ege, plus the elemental Fang attacks, Return, and Superpower for additional attack options. This beast gets Curse to boost its already impressive attack and defense at the expense of speed it never had in the first place, Slack Off to regenerate its HP and stay in the battle longer, Stealth Rock to set up against switchers, Roar to force switches, and Yawn and Toxic to inflict status.

Ability: Sandstream's certainly a useful ability; however, unlike Tyranitar, Hippowdon itself cannot get the full benefit out the weather due to its typing. It's still good for setting up a sandstorm for the rest of the team, or to take advantage of your durability and stall while the opponent suffers constant damage.

Summary: Hippowdon's a solid physical wall with a lot of useful support options. Great alternative if you're making a sandstorm team and you're sick of Tyranitar.



Fail of the Week: Magcargo



I'm not sure what happened with some of the Generation 2 Pokémon. Don't get me wrong, they're nice designs, and are certainly easier to remember than some of the Hoenn designs (Mightyena who?). My guess is they were attempting to balance what they'd already put in from R/B/Y and never actually checked to make sure what they were creating for G/S was competitively viable. On one hand, we got mainstays like Forretress, Heracross, and Skarmory, and then on the other we have stuff that's gimmicky as hell (Unown, Delibird) or have horrifyingly bad stats (Sunflora, Corsola). A lot of that era's Pokémon got better with changes such as the ability system and the physical/special split, but some are just too far gone to be saved...

Typing: Oh, where, where do we start. Rock/Fire? Really? Congratulations, you now have 4x weaknesses to Water and Ground. And given how you will effectively NEVER run into a team without both Surf/Waterfall or Earthquake, you've pretty much lost before even getting into the arena.

Stats: Magcargo's base defense is actually slightly higher than the aforementioned Hippowdon, at 120. Unfortunately, this doesn't actually help it survive a hit with that awful typing. Even more unfortunately, this defense came at the expense of every other stat Magcargo has. HP, attack, and speed are absolutely abysmal (the only Pokémon slower than this thing are Wynaut, Torkoal, Trapinch, and Shuckle, and nobody uses THOSE either). The only stats that might be considered salvageable are its special attack and defense, but those stats get matched or exceeded by superior Fire-types like Magmortar and Arcanine (although we're at a point where even Rapidash looks superior, so there).

Moves: Magcargo's movepool is awkward, to say the least. Being a part-Rock special attacker is not a good sign. Outside of Ancientpower, you have no special Rock-type move to work with. Its Fire-type arsenal is slightly better, with your choice of Flamethrower, Heat Wave, or Overheat. If you're willing to have another Pokémon run Sunny Day for you, Solarbeam is possible. Outside of that, Magcargo was given a bunch of physical moves it doesn't have the Attack to use.

Ability: Magcargo has two possible abilities, and both of them are worthless. Magma Armor protects you against freezing, which only happens very rarely, and from Ice attacks nobody would use against a Fire-type anyway. The other, Flame Body, has a chance of burning anything that makes physical contact with it; however, you can get a guaranteed burn with Will-O-Wisp. Both abilities are useful out of battle for accelerating the hatching of eggs, but better Pokémon have these abilities.

Summary: Magcargo suffers from one of the most unfortunate typing in the game, abysmal stats, and redundant abilities. Even other junk Fire-types like Rapidash and Flareon look good in comparison.



Moves You Can Use: Aura Sphere
Aura Sphere occupies a weeeird niche. It's a Fighting-type move that's special rather than physical, AND it's a never-miss move that has almost as much power as Ice Beam or Thunderbolt. It's probably because of this winning combination that the move is so rare; it only appears on the D/P/Pt version legendaries, Mewtwo and Mew, Lucario, and Togekiss. In other words, only seven Pokémon can learn this move, one's event-only, and four are restricted in normal play. However, the two remaining can make good use of the move; Lucario has a solid Special Attack stat and STAB to run off of, while Togekiss can combine it with Hustle for an extra 50% damage without the ability's accuracy penalty. In other words; if you have something that can learn the move, you have little reason not to give it to them.


So that's all this week. Next week I'm doing mushrooms: reviewing Breloom and the Pokémon it put out of a job. Until next weekend

I love you for this.

This. And welcome back, you!

Oh wow, been a while. Good stuff.

good read

still like using magcargo at times

In this issue I look at two Mushroom Pokémon, and the cost-efficiency of the available healing items.

Pokémon Pick: Breloom



The hardcore battling community (i.e. Smogon) has instituted a lot of rules to maintain “balance” in tournaments. Some of them I agree with (only one Pokémon of its species on a team), some I don't (why do you need to ban OHKO moves when nobody uses them seriously?). One of the more contentious ones is Sleep Clause, which only allows you to put one of the opponent's team to sleep at a time. I don't agree with it, but then I can understand why. This clause limits the effectiveness of a lot of sleep-inflicting Pokémon, although some still have other things to work with. Breloom has a lot of those things.

Typing: Grass/Fighting's a pretty unique type combination. Resistance to common attack types such as Ground, Rock, and Water are fairly solid to work with. Fire and Ice are weaknesses to look out for, and Breloom has a 4x weakness to Flying, so keep it away from anything with Drill Peck or Brave Bird.

Stats: 130 base attack puts Breloom means it outclasses a lot of other popular physical powerhouses like Gyarados and Heracross, and puts it nearly on par with pseudo-legendaries like Tyranitar and Dragonite. This came out of other stats, though; it's a bit faster than other heavy hitters like Scizor and Machamp, but defenses are a bit lacking. However, other Pokémon have made it with less.

Moves: Breloom has a solid movepool to work with to make it either a status afflicter or a physical attacker. Spore, Stun Spore, Toxic, Leech Seed and Worry Seed are all effective for messing up an opponent. For pure combat, you have Seed Bomb, Sky Uppercut, and Stone-Edge. Breloom is extremely effective at using Focus Punch, given that it can have an opponent asleep to buy time for the wind-up.

Ability: Effect Spore's not really that useful; it relies on the opponent making contact, and you're better off using a move like Spore or Toxic to inflict status. Breloom's other ability, Poison Heal, is actually fairly useful. Swap in on an opponent using Toxic or equip Breloom with a Toxic Orb to get a bit more staying power.

Summary: Breloom fulfills a rare but useful niche. If it weren't for Sleep Clause, this thing would be even more devastating.



Fail of the Week: Parasect



I'm probably going to be beating you over the head with this for several installments, but a lot of the original 150 (I don't count Mew, deal with it) got completely obsoleted in competitive play by newer Pokémon who fulfill the same niche but better. Pidgeot and Fearow look on jealously towards the sleeker and stronger Swellow and Staraptor. Hell, even the great Charizard has been replaced by a monkey (it's like Beast Wars all over again). But as fan favorites shuffle off to the unemployment office, what about the ones that nobody wanted to hire in the first place?

Typing: Just... wow. Bug/Grass? This thing has a load of weaknesses. Weak to Ice, weak to Rock, 4x weak to Flying, 4x weak to Fire... back in Gen I when Poison-type was effective against Bug, this was 4x weak against that too.

Stats: Parasect is absolutely anemic; none of its base stats go into the triple digits. The closest stat that comes to acceptable is Attack, which has a base of 95. You're not going to be using it with the other stats, though. 30 speed means you won't be getting the first strike, and its HP and defenses mean you're not likely to be getting in a hit after the opponent either.

Moves: Parasect's signature move is Spore: a sleep move with 100% accuracy. Alas, the fact it can rarely last long enough to deploy it meant people decided “screw it, we're using Sleep Powder instead”. Also, this move hasn't been exclusive to it for a long time; the existence of Sketch in Generation II gave it to Smeargle, and Generation III gave it to Shroomish, who took it and ran with it. The only things that Parasect has that Shroomish/Breloom doesn't are Pursuit, Knock Off, X-Scissor and Aromatherapy.

Ability: Parasect's two abilities aren't very good, but one is clearly better than the other. Like I said with Breloom, Effect Spore doesn't do anything that can't be done more effectively with status moves. Unlike Breloom, Effect Spore is actually the preferred ability in this case, because its other one is so much worse. What is Parasect's other ability? Dry Skin. Yes, a Pokémon that's already 4x weak against Fire takes EVEN MORE damage from it.

Summary: Anything Parasect is remotely capable of doing is done better by Breloom. With how easy it is to get a Shroomish, you don't have a reason to use this for anything other than kindling.



Quick Guide: Cost-Efficiency of Healing Items

Potion: Costs 300, heals 20HP. Cost: 15 per HP
Super Potion: Costs 700, heals 50HP. Cost: 14 per HP
Hyper Potion: Costs 1200, heals 200HP. Cost: 6 per HP
Fresh Water: Costs 200, heals 50HP. Cost: 4 per HP.
Soda Pop: Costs 300, heals 60HP. Cost: 5 per HP.
Lemonade: Costs 350, heals 80HP. Cost: 4.375 per HP.
Moomoo Milk: Costs 500, heals 100HP. Cost: 5 per HP.
Energy Powder: Costs 500, heals 50HP. Cost: 10 per HP.
Energy Root: Costs 800, heals 200HP. Cost: 4 per HP.

The Fresh Water and Energy Root are the most cost-efficient healing items (although Energy Root has the side effect of lowering happiness, which will impede you if you're running Return). Lemonade and Moomoo Milk are also fairly economic healers. Once you have access to the vending machines, leave Potions and Super Potions behind.

Next week: I review a gimmick Pokémon that surprisingly DOESN'T suck.

Hippowdon works wonders with Steel Pokemon on your team.

i remember how parasect was one of the best in RBY

Ghost PKMN or gtfo plx.

Pokemon Pick: Smeargle



Gimmick Pokémon are generally not worth a crap competitively. They tend to have poor stats, limited movepools, or something else that makes them generally a hindrance. Generation II seems to have a glut of these gimmick Pokémon: Delibird, the baby Pokémon, Shuckle, and so on... Smeargle's the rare gem out of the rockpile.

Typing: Normal-type's just that... One weakness, one immunity, it's fairly acceptable.

Stats: Stats are not Smeargle's strong point. It has one of the lowest base stat totals of any fully-evolved Pokémon, only next to Shedinja. This thing has no attack power whatsoever; Attack and Special Attack stats of 20. Its defense isn't too hot either. The stat that Smeargle does do well with is Speed; 75 allows it to outrun sluggish walls like Snorlax and Skarmory, and a Baton Pass can give it a nice shot in the arm.

Moves: Smeargle only starts with one move: Sketch. However, Sketch becomes any other move in the game, with the exception of Chatter, which can't be duplicated due to its use of microphone input, and Struggle, which is a move in the same way agnosticism is a religion. This allows you to use moves that are limited to legendaries or other unique Pokemon, move combinations that don't normally exist, or just to build a moveset based on a specific tactic.

Ability: Own Tempo prevents confusion, which occasionally happens, and preventing it can be useful. Smeargle's other ability, Technician, boosts the damage output of moves with 60 base power or less; this can be useful for boosting the damage of priority moves like Quick Attack or Mach/Bullet Punch and anti-evasion attacks like Aerial Ace.

Summary: Smeargle's versatility and unpredictability is unmatched. It makes up for its lack of offensive power with some of the best utility capability in the game.



Fail of the Week: Unown



If Smeargle's the gem of gimmick Pokémon, then Unown is the toxic mine tailings. As far as the gimmick itself, it's certainly a fascinating one: twenty-eight different and unique forms. Unfortunately, gimmicks don't win battles, so Unown is stuck filling out reports.

Typing: Psychic's not really a bad type, but you're not likely to be getting any STAB out of it.

Stats: Remember how I maligned Parasect last week for not having a stat going over 100? Well, Unown's got it worse. A lot worse. Most of its stats don't even clear fifty, with the exception of a base attack and special attack of an underwhelming seventy-two. And since the physical/special split, that attack stat isn't doing ANYTHING.

Moves: This is it, people. This is the absolute worst movepool in the ENTIRE SERIES. At least Magikarp eventually evolves, and even Delibird can be given a TM. But Unown? Stuck with one move for all eternity.

Ability: I can't complain about Levitate. I really can't. It doesn't salvage Unown in the least, but it's still an extremely useful ability in more capable hands.

Summary: I think we have a contender for the worst Pokémon in the entire series here. But face it, you're still going to catch all 28 of them.



Poké Ball Effectiveness Comparison

Poké Ball: 1x effectiveness
Great Ball: 1.5x effectiveness
Ultra Ball: 2x effectiveness
Master Ball: Infinite effectiveness
Safari Ball: 1.5x effectiveness
Level Ball: 1x effectiveness if the wild Pokémon is same or higher level than user's, 2x effectiveness if the wild Pokémon is lower level than user's, 4x effectiveness if the wild Pokémon is half the level of user's, 8x effectiveness if the wild Pokémon is less than a quarter of the level of the user's
Lure Ball: 3x effectiveness if used on a Pokémon caught by fishing, 1x otherwise
Moon Ball: 4x effectiveness if used on Nidoran, Clefairy, Jigglypuff, or Skitty, 1x otherwise
Friend Ball: 1x effectiveness
Love Ball: 8x effectiveness if used on same species but opposite gender of user's Pokémon, 1x otherwise
Heavy Ball: -20 effectiveness if used on a Pokémon lighter than 451.5 lbs, +20 effectiveness if used on a Pokémon over 451.5 lbs, +30 effectiveness if used on a Pokémon over 677.3 lbs, +40 effectiveness if used on a Pokémon over 903.0 lbs.
Fast Ball: 4x effectiveness if used on a Pokémon with a base speed of over 100, 1x otherwise
Sport Ball: 1.5x effectiveness
Premier Ball: 1x effectiveness
Repeat Ball: 3x effectiveness if used on a Pokémon already caught before, 1x otherwise
Timer Ball: 1x effectiveness for the first 10 turns, 2x effectiveness after 10 turns, 3x effectiveness after 20 turns, 4x effectiveness after 30 turns
Nest Ball: 3x effectiveness on Pokémon below level 20, 2x effectiveness on Pokémon between level 20-30, 1x effectiveness otherwise
Net Ball: 3x effectiveness on Water and Bug types 1x otherwise
Dive Ball: 3.5x effectiveness if used when fishing, surfing, or diving
Luxury Ball: 1x effectiveness
Heal Ball: 1x effectiveness
Quick Ball: 4x effectiveness if used on the first turn, 1x otherwise
Dusk Ball: 3.5x effectiveness if used in a cave or at night, 1x otherwise
Park Ball: Infinite effectiveness

Next week, I look at a Generation I Pokémon that's stayed good... and one that hasn't (I'm going to be getting a lot of angry letters about the second one, I just know it...)

My guess is the 1st upcoming pick is Machamp, and the 2nd is Charizard.

fails will include beedrill and chatot

Everyone who correctly guessed my Fail of the Week, congratulations. You get... NOTHING.

Pokémon Pick: Snorlax



There are certain Pokémon I dread going up against in competitive play. Snorlax is one of those. It's brutal to chip away at an opponent who's merely biding their time, increasing their power and waiting for a moment to strike, and when you're going for the knockout and they suddenly recharge to blow you away, there's almost nothing you can do. As such, I dedicate this pick to ShukuenShinobi, one of the few people to ever defeat me in a Wi-Fi battle (even though he technically did that with Electivire).

Typing: It's Normal. I can't really say anything here.

Stats: We're dealing with a tank here. Snorlax has the fifth-highest HP of any Pokémon, only exceeded by Wailord, Wobbuffett, Chansey, and Blissey. Unlike those four others, Snorlax can dish out punishment just as well as it can take it, running off of 110 base attack. While its physical defense is a bit of a letdown at only 65 (which is still better than things like Hariyama and the aforementioned Blissey, who come out a lot worse from physical hits), its special defense is amazingly high, putting it above a lot of legendaries. Snorlax is the slasher-movie monster of the Pokémon world. You can barely stop it. You can barely hurt it. And once it gets a hold of you, it will destroy you.

Moves: Snorlax has a lot going for it in terms of attack capability, especially since the addition of the Platinum/HG/SS move tutors. Body Slam, Return, Crunch, Earthquake, Pursuit, the elemental Punches, Superpower, Zen Headbutt, Seed Bomb, Gunk Shot, Outrage... you've got a lot of moves and a lot of types to work with. For stat-boosting, you've got the choice of Curse to buff your Attack and Defense while losing nothing of value, or Belly Drum to get a massive Attack boost if you're confident you can survive two turns on half HP. For recovery, you have Rest for HP and Refresh for status. For miscellaneous support, you've got Recycle to regurgitate a Chesto Berry, Block to lock down an easy KO, Yawn and Whirlwind to force an opponent out, and Substitute to wall. Those up against a Snorlax should be glad that it can only carry four moves.

Ability: Snorlax has two fairly useful abilities. Thick Fat halves damage from Fire and Ice attacks. This makes Snorlax extremely useful to pair with Dragons or Flying-types with a 4x weakness. The other ability, Immunity, gives Snorlax immunity to poison; useful for putting it in against something with Sludge Bomb or Toxic, or just general walling.

Summary: Yo, Snorlax fucking owns you.



Fail of the Week: Charizard



I'm repeating myself from my Parasect episode when I say that the later generations and the changes brought by them really haven't helped the original 150. The splitting of the Special stat ended the reign of Mewtwo; fixing the recharge glitch killed off any reason to use Hyper Beam, and a lot of types no longer sucking meant previously-dominant types were less viable. A lot of popular Pokémon from the first generation have suffered; Exeggutor, Tauros, Persian... but one fan-favorite in particular has suffered heavily.

Typing: This is what kills Charizard right off the bat. Fire/Flying seems good in theory, with an immunity to the Ground-type moves that Fire alone would normally be weak to. However, this creates a 4x weakness to Rock. In earlier generations, this wasn't much of a problem; the strongest Rock-type move was Rock Slide, with a paltry 75 power. However, since then, we've had the introduction of the more powerful Stone-Edge as well as Stealth Rock, an entry hazard that can chop off half the HP of anything that's 4x weak to Rock. What was once a minor inconvenience is now a serious liability.

Stats: Even though I have it listed as a fail, I'm going to praise Charizard's stats. Its Speed and Special Attack are significantly above the average, exceeding numerous legendaries. Its base Attack's also fairly acceptable, allowing it to do hefty physical damage with a stat boost or two.

Moves: Belly Drum allows Charizard to maximize its Attack at the cost of half its HP; unfortunately, after taking a Stealth Rock, you won't have half your health to give. If you're willing to risk it, you can dish out damage on the physical side with Flare Blitz (which may be unwise with the recoil damage), Fire Punch (which sacrifices power for avoiding recoil), Earthquake, Thunder or Ice Punch, and Brick Break. On the special side, you have a choice of Fire Blast or Flamethrower for STAB, Focus Blast, plus Solarbeam if you have Sunny Day set up beforehand. While Charizard can learn Blast Burn, it's overkill and you're giving your opponent a turn to use against you. Roost is available for HP recovery, and Swords Dance allows you to boost your attack to a lesser extent than Belly Drum without the HP loss.

Ability: Blaze is run-of-the-mill for Fire starters, but it's still a useful ability in the right circumstances. Once Charizard goes into the red, you're now doing a lot more damage with Fire Blast or Flamethrower.

Summary: A classic with a lot of potential ruined by the changing metagame.



GameFreakingStupidIdeas: Stealth Rock

Stealth Rock was a move introduced in Diamond and Pearl. To summarize, it's a move that creates an entry hazard in the vein of Spikes; unlike Spikes, which does set damage, Stealth Rock's damage varies depending on how weak the Pokémon is to Rock attacks. A Pokémon neutral to Rock will lose 12.5% of its HP; a Pokémon with a 4x weakness will lose half of its HP.

Why is this a bad idea? Well, for one thing, it absolutely destroys the viability of a lot of types. Fire-types are almost completely absent from competition; the only two in Smogon's OU tier are Heatran and Infernape, both of which are neutral to Rock due to their typing (Fire/Steel and Fire/Fighting, respectively). Flying-types didn't fare much better, with very few other than legendaries or pseudo-legendaries making the cut.

In summary, how bad is Stealth Rock's dominance over the metagame? Being 4x weak to Rock right now is like being a Poison or Fighting type in Generation I. Better bring something with Rapid Spin.



Next week: I review every single Eeveelution... why am I doing this, again?

These are actually fun reads, even if I don't go very indepth with Pokemon games. Makes me appreciate what goes on under the hood!

Breloom for the F'in Win!!!

It's nappy time.